Race...

I really haven't talked/learned about race until i moved to USA.In Belarus, race was not a big deal, i mean it was not even a deal, at least for me, I've never heard racial jokes or anything and that's maybe because of the people i was friends with.

I don't understand why a black person is different from a white or an asian. We are all humans and black people can be very bad, so can the white and the asian. It's just the way you've been brought up in life and the way you look at things.

I personally never ever cared if a person is black or white, as long as that person was my friend and a good person. It's funny, because in Belarus you obviously don't see a lot of black people, but a lot of students from Africa come to study, so when you see a black person you will look at him/her and it's just something abnormal. But they were treated EXACTLY as i was and there was no difference. It was cool being friends with a black guy or a girl, because of their different culture.

Community service

The community service that i did was very interesting. I worked with elderly people and i also worked with kids. It was such a big difference between the two services that i did, and i still loved it. I experienced something new, something that i haven't done before and i am glad to say that i liked it.
It was hard to see how hard it is for elderly people to live at a nursing home, it was very sad. My grandmother is 90 years old and she lives by herself in Belarus. I can only imagine how hard it is. I mean first off all being there by herself, everyday! yes, she has her girlfriends, but she doesn't have us. Her family is so far away that we can't be there every day. My other grandmother is younger but not by a lot and she also lives by herself. I just wish they could come here and live by us. The lady that i got to talk to had her daughter visit her everyday because she lives a street away from the nursing home, and still Esther was upset and not very happy about being at the nursing home. When i think of my grandmothers i can't imagine how hard it is for them, they are all by them selfs.



I got a lot from doing community service because it what makes us happy, to give, that's a key to being happy.

Social Class

I think our school is clearly divided. Some are rich, some are loners, some are very popular, and some are somewhere in the middle.

Coming from another country and completely different way of living a life and seeing people, i can clearly see, i mean CLEARLY how this school is different from many others...


Those cool, popular kids, they only hang out with cool and popular kids, never actually realizing that regular kids can be as much fun as "the popular".

To be honest, i really think about it a lot, because i can see it so much, how everyone is different.
For example, i was one of the coolest kids in my school in Russia. Everyone knew me, i am noteven joking, everyone! But here, i am no one, just another numbered student....so for me, it was really really difficult at first but now, i don't pay attention to those kinds of things, because friends are friends no matter how cool or uncool you are or you have become.

Tammy's life...

After watching that video about Tammy i thought for a second how lucky i am to be living in this country, and being able to go to school and drive a car...I mean, my family is not rich or wealthy at all. They are the working class if that's how you say it. I work for my own things and my parents work for us and for my future education. Sometimes i wanna say " i really really want to live in that huge house over there, but we can't afford it" but i realize more and more that i am happy the way i am. I am happy having what i have, and i shall say that i have a lot more that many people do, living in this country for only 3 years.
It is extremely sad how Tammy walks to work, and gets paid so little, it is heartbreaking to see her live a life she does...

R.I.P my friend....

I am in a stage of shock. Yesterday i found out that my friend, my ex co-worker that i've known for such a long time had passed away. That thought still can't cross my mind, and i still cannot believe it.
He had diabites and from i heard he went into diabetic coma in his sleep. He died ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!! He died on his birthday but the body was found few days later in his apartment..I can't believe that a life of a such an amazing person could have been taking away. So young....such an amazing person..words can't describe it.... It's not fair...life is not fair....

..shocked...

The Prison

I watched this movie called the "Shawshank Redemption" and i can't tell you enough how amazing it was.
After being in prison people become institutionalized. They become prisoners of their own bodies. After spending most of your life in prison one can almost never adapt to the outside world. When one comes out from prison, hopefully he or she has somewhere to go back to, or someone, otherwise it is extremely hard to get back on your feet. You won't be able to find a job that will actually pay you good, and even if you do find some decent job, it will still be hard to be around regular people and just do things that you haven't done for years. I just can't imagine how hard it could get. Plus, as some say if you spend sometime in prison there's a huge chance of you getting right back in. So most people are freed but not for long. They will still get into some kind of trouble and get back behind the bars. I guess i can somehow compare it with serious drugs, once you tried you can never go back, meaning you get addicted to drugs just as you get addicted of committing crimes. It's just that simple....

Chicago shootings...

So..i turn on the TV and what i hear? " 35 dead people( or something like that) over the weekend in the south side of Chicago." AGAIN! Just one weekend?? Oh, and just a day ago or so 5 people were shot; 2 females, and 3 males. How crazy is that? I don't understand what is going on here for the past few years, it is getting so scary, so obnoxious. I don't know what is going to happen next, but i guess we will have to see...


This is scary.

Maculinity

A lot of the kids at our school, well and not only at our school, put on the masculinity mask, and act all manly and cool. They can't accept the fact that some kids around them are homosexual. If they don't like it it's their own opinion and they don't have to go around and yell it out! You can have a discussion on that topic, and just share what you feel...yeah....what you feel...But guys don't seem to "share what they feel" because they are too cool for that. They can just tell us what they think, but i thinking sharing what you feel and telling what you think are two different things. They try to show us that they have no sensitive side( sorry guys=))) I guess that's just the way some guys are, that is the way they have been shaped by the society and by their families. Some of them are just scared to not be accepted because they are way too sensitive, or maybe they are going to be made fun of. But for what? For just sharing what you feel? That is so stupid, that is how people are so depressed, they hide everything inside and then at some point all of that has to come out, and that's when we turn on the TV and hear " ...another shooting"...I mean there is nothing wrong with sharing what you feel, what you think, this is America, this is the country where you have to right to do that, to share you feelings. In some other countries the topic of homosexuality may be prohibited between the group of friends. Some will never even talk about it, some will eventually, but it won't be any positive things. Here, it is deviant to do so, but maybe trying and changing something can bring a big change to our society? Maybe it can, maybe it can't?!!

How we are shaped by our family.

When i used to live in Russia, my parents and I weren't best friends. I was not a good kid, and so for me, my parents were the worst. But being 13-16 is that teenager age when some people go through maturity and don't like their parents. I've grown to love my parents. With all the punishments i would get, with all the " not letting me have my life and my fun" going on i still grew to love them no matter what. Your family is the only people you can trust, especially your parents. There can be no one closer then them.
When we moved things changed. maybe it's because i've grew older, or maybe because we finally got to the place where it's save and they feel more save letting me go places without worrying too much. But my parents and I are best friends. Yes, we fight and all, but still, they both are my best friends, and there can be nothing in the world that we can't have a conversation about.
My parents have shaped me from the moment i was born ( almost). I notice the things that my dad does and I don't like it, but at the same time i do it too, and my friends don't like it. Sometimes its something that others don't do, and it can just be weird for people. My dad, for example, has to have the car clean. When i used to drive his car and my friends would get in the car, he would always yell at me saying that it is dirty in my car, because my friends didn't clean their shoes before getting into the car, and then he'll tell me not to drive anyone =) He obviously gets the fact that i still will drive others just like others drive me, but he used to say it, just to say it. if theres a scratch on the car ( you know, you parked at Jewel, and car next to you scratched your car...that happens) well it is always my fault and i am not careful ( like i can't go inside the store b/c i have to watch my car) it is always my fault no matter what =)
BUT NOW, when i bought my car, i totally get him. My car is a new car, 2008 and it still has that "new car" smell. Now when my friends get in i tell them to be careful not to scratch anything and not to make a mess, just like my dad used to tell me ( not that he doesn't now).
So there, one example of how your family shapes you and influences you in the things you do.

School Shootings

This topic makes me go crazy and makes me think for a while.
When i read the article on the school shooting ( before going to sleep) i couldn't fall asleep for a good 2-3 hours, different thoughts were going through my mind. It's just so hard to grasp that kids like me die in those stupid shootings. Before i moved to USA i didn't even know that people are capable of coming to a school and shooting their classmates, although there was this one terrorist attack on the first day of school in Russia, where hundreds, HUNDREDS were killed. But that was the one and only time! But in this case, it's not one and only, it's not a common thing, but so close. I just can't express my feelings in a right way, i just can't believe that kids like me shoot others!

It all begins with bulling others. " You're a fag, you're gay, you're stupid" and so on. I really understand how much it feels, because once, in middle school i've been through that. And i was an immigrant it was already tough for me to adapt and others made it so much harder to adapt. But i did, it only made me stronger. But for others, this is not the case, for others coming to school and shooting their classmates is the answer! Violence has never been the right solution to a problem, ever. No matter how harsh it is, it V I O L E N C E!
I wish i could do something, i mean help others, because i know what it's like to be depressed, what it's like to be lonely. Been there, done that. But still, i keep on going no matter how hard it gets, and trust me it gets pretty hard. I just want to do something, be some kind of help to this rally sad, unfair world that we live in.

Community Service

Well, I will start off by saying that doing community service at a nursing home is not easy! It's not that you have to do a lot of things, there is absolutely nothing hard about it, but it is just extremely hard to see the old people, how they leave their everyday life. I got to sit down with the lady whose name was Ester ( i think). It was easy to see that she didn't like it there, i mean she said she did, but it seemed that she obviously liked it better with her family. It was so heartbreaking to realize that she has a big family but it is too hard for them to look after her. She said her one daughter visits her almost everyday, and the others once in a while because they live in another state.
I am a very nice and caring person and always there to help people out. The whole 2 hours that we've spent there my heart was beating like crazy, because i was thinking about how my dad always jokes by saying " Well, if you put us in a nursing home make sure it's not far away from you and it's a good one." I just don't see myself doing that, how cruel is that. My parents gave me my life and everything else, and how can i let somebody else take care of them rather then me. I just won't be able to to that. And i know that my parents know that i won't do that, so it kind of makes me feel better, that they know i won't put them into a nursing home and i would take care of them. I just can't imagine them going through the everyday life at a nursing home. I am not saying that they treat people badly but it's just something that i won't ever let happen.

Different cultures...

Every country has a different culture, different way of life and a different way of thinking. For us, Russians, it is sometimes strange how Americans think and how they act, but for Americans it is incredibly strange how Russians live and survive as some might think. Not everything is as bad as it may seem.
Speaking about toilets that were in the ground, weren't you surprised to see those kinds of toilets? I bet. But i wasn't. For example some Russian schools have those kind of toilets, because schools can't afford to buy a regular one. Some theaters, libraries, or clubs have those kind of toilets and it is a very common thing in my city. It was funny for me to listen to the class discuss how to use them properly, and how far to pull down the pants or which way to sit, because i already knew that and it was just weird that you couldn't really figure it out. But at the same time, i would have the same reaction to something that i have never seen or used before.
Another example of differences in cultures would be the way people drive. In America almost every driver is polite and will let you go in front or let you pass or something. But in Russia you could wait for years and no one will let you go in front. Everyone seem to be in a hurry all the time =) So there you go, even the way people drive is different. Also, sales associates at the stores are not very nice and polite, but the other way, they can almost yell at you and give you a look. Or you could be waiting in line for few minutes while the cashier finishes talking about how she went out last night.
I went home this summer and i've been away for 2 years. When i came back i was somewhat surprised, but at the same time i knew what to expect. But even knowing what to expect i got in a fight with a waiter at a restaurant during my first night, and in a fight with a cashier the next. I am used to being welcomed and greeted at the door and the waiters being nice and polite, but that was not the case. To top it off the waiter added another 30$ to the bill for things we didn't even order. So me, having experience as an American resident i knew what to say. She suffered. =)And i can't tell you how many times there were little arguments and fights with people, just because i was so used to American way of life...

Bronx Tale

What i found very powerful and intersting in the movie is how Sonny acts toward Collogero. Collogero is just a little boy that doesn't understand what is around him yet. His dad is a bus driver and obviously their lives were hard. Sonny's money attracted Collogero and he, without a real understanding of what he is getting himself into, went to work for Sonny, and make some decent money. Collogero's dad tried to keep him away from Sonny and his crew, but it was hard because bar was so close to their apartment, and it was hard to keep and eye on him because he was working. Collogero's dad new what his son was getting into and he tried to stop him, but Collogero would just sneak out and be with Sonny. I felt so bad for his dad, he tried so hard to be the best dad and make money to support his family, he was such an honest man, and his only son would sneak out to Sonny, because Sonny was some kind of idol to him.
If Collogero would grow up not knowing who Sonny was and not being his "friend", he would not end up just like Sonny after his death...

Valentine's Day

I just wanted to tell you how different people and cultures are. Valentine's day is a big day for some, and nothing special for others. For example as some might already know the school system is very different in USA and other countries. I would like to tell you something that my school used to do for Valentine's day.
Well, first of all our school was decorated. It was all in red,pink colors and different posters were hanging on the wall. Since in my school all students had to wear uniform, such as nice pants and a jacket, something that you would wear for work, holidays such as Valentine's day, Mother's Day, Teacher's day were special. We were allowed to wear anything. So those days were the exciting days for student because they could show off what kind of style they have outside of school, because you can't really see it when everyone is dressed almost the same. So that was one big thing on Valentine's day, we wore anything we wanted. Another thing was that 2 students were chosen among the juniors or senior that were the "mail people" their job for the whole day was to deliver mail. On the main floor at out school ( we had 5 floors) there was a box set up where students could drop off their valentines and cards with the name of the student and the classroom. You are wondering how would you know all the classrooms!? Well, our school had about 1500 students from 1st grade to 11th. And the schedule was posted on the wall for everyone, for the whole week, because classes change everyday, so does the order and time. So you could come up to that wall and look up your classroom by your grade and a letter. Every class had a letter. We had four classes for every grade, so 4 classes of freshman. 9a, 9b, 9c, 9d. And so on with all the others. So it was pretty easy how the schedule system worked. Anyway, back to the mail, students would drop off their valentines into the mail box and the two chosen students would deliver the valentines throughout the whole school day during the classes. During our passing period, as we call it here, in Stevenson, we had a mini disco. Since the breaks between the classes were 15-25 min, we had a DJ in the hallway on the main floor playing music, and surprisingly people were dancing and having fun. And pretty much the last part of the Valentine's day at school was the concert. Our students would prepare a concert for students and teachers to attend after school. After all classes were done students were invited to a theater at school and we all would sit down and watch the convert.
Also, on Valentine's Day teachers were nice and we didn't do anything in class except talk, play music, talk and have fun. So Valentine's day was a big day for our school among the other holidays.
Well i hope that made some kind of sense to anyone who read it, it is actually really hard to compare or explain the differences between the countries and the cultures and the people, because you guys would look at me like we are crazy =) But i tried my best! =)

NIU Shooting

I got a call from my dad telling me to turn on the TV because there has been shooting at one of the Illinois's universities. Not really believing i turned it on to find that there has been a shooting at Northern Illinois and no one knew at the moment how many were hurt, but it was known that some were already dead. The first thought that came to my mind is to call my friends that go there. I tried to reach my friend several times and i got through. I was one of the only people that could reach him. He was 2 feet away from Cole Hall so after the campus was secure he rushed outside to help the injured. He pretended to be a reporter and somehow he got in. He was calm on the phone, but i could hear that he was horrified and really still in shock. He asked me to call him mom because he couldn't reach her. So i did. I obviously had to start the conversation somewhat nice and calm, knowing that if i don't she'll be yelling screaming and all. So i told her that my friend is fine, he is safe and all, so then i told her what happened and as i predicted she didn't know about it. She almost started crying, she was petrified and scared but i tried my best of calming her down.
But what i really wanted to say that i can not believe that this has happened to us, i mean a place so close, a place that a lot of people that we know go to, it happened in Illinois, our state. When Virginia Tech happened it was horrible but it was so far away and it felt so distant although we all prayed and gave out our heart to the lost lives and injured. But now, when it happened so close it is so different. It makes you think that what if i come to school the next day and somebody would pull out a gun and start randomly shooting? What if somebody just decides to blow up our school? Or not even a school, a store, a library, anything. It just makes you so scared that at some point you don't want to go anywhere. But together people are able to get through hard times, together there is more power in their hands...
If you look at it on the other hand, you can't prevent it. You really can't do anything except being cautious and careful.
I say live your life like it's your last day and get a full taste out of it, because no one knows what might happen tomorrow!

The awkwardness of silence

I think that people in United States are very uncomfortable with the silence. But since i am from another country i can say that it is nothing weird about silence in Russia. On the other hand people are silent, they don't talk to each other if they don't know each other. Like no one would tell you that they like your bracelet if they don't know you or not many people would just start talking to you out of nowhere. I think that it is a very good thing that people talk to each other in an empty room, because silence is kind of awkward. Talking makes time go by faster. Also, all people are listeners, but not all people are good listeners...
There are people that i can sit in a room with and not talk, but that is mostly because i am very shy when it comes to talking, because i am not very confident with my English and i just don't want other people listen to me talk with an accent, because i personally don't like accents, especially Russian accents =) So i try no to talk much. But with my Russian friend i talk non stop.
Even though some people say that silence is golden i personally think that it depends. When you talk to someone about the weather, or music, or some things that are not really related to you, then why not. It is a huge time killer.
I am sure that people like music on their blogs or elsewhere because they just like music and of course to fill the air in with music. I have music on all the time when possible, because i don't like silence as well, but also, i like listening to music that brings back good memories, and a lot of songs have a good meaning in them. Listening to songs that i have some memories with bring me good mood and it is nice to remember things that have happened in the past...

My first blog

Blogging seems to be very cool. Well, i have an online diary that i write in every once in a while, so i kind of do blogging every once in a while. I started the diary few years ago when i moved to United States. My friends go and read what i write so they know what is going on with my life. So i think blogging here is going to be pretty cool as well, because i can share my thoughts with the class and also read what they have to say.