Chicago shootings...

So..i turn on the TV and what i hear? " 35 dead people( or something like that) over the weekend in the south side of Chicago." AGAIN! Just one weekend?? Oh, and just a day ago or so 5 people were shot; 2 females, and 3 males. How crazy is that? I don't understand what is going on here for the past few years, it is getting so scary, so obnoxious. I don't know what is going to happen next, but i guess we will have to see...


This is scary.

Maculinity

A lot of the kids at our school, well and not only at our school, put on the masculinity mask, and act all manly and cool. They can't accept the fact that some kids around them are homosexual. If they don't like it it's their own opinion and they don't have to go around and yell it out! You can have a discussion on that topic, and just share what you feel...yeah....what you feel...But guys don't seem to "share what they feel" because they are too cool for that. They can just tell us what they think, but i thinking sharing what you feel and telling what you think are two different things. They try to show us that they have no sensitive side( sorry guys=))) I guess that's just the way some guys are, that is the way they have been shaped by the society and by their families. Some of them are just scared to not be accepted because they are way too sensitive, or maybe they are going to be made fun of. But for what? For just sharing what you feel? That is so stupid, that is how people are so depressed, they hide everything inside and then at some point all of that has to come out, and that's when we turn on the TV and hear " ...another shooting"...I mean there is nothing wrong with sharing what you feel, what you think, this is America, this is the country where you have to right to do that, to share you feelings. In some other countries the topic of homosexuality may be prohibited between the group of friends. Some will never even talk about it, some will eventually, but it won't be any positive things. Here, it is deviant to do so, but maybe trying and changing something can bring a big change to our society? Maybe it can, maybe it can't?!!

How we are shaped by our family.

When i used to live in Russia, my parents and I weren't best friends. I was not a good kid, and so for me, my parents were the worst. But being 13-16 is that teenager age when some people go through maturity and don't like their parents. I've grown to love my parents. With all the punishments i would get, with all the " not letting me have my life and my fun" going on i still grew to love them no matter what. Your family is the only people you can trust, especially your parents. There can be no one closer then them.
When we moved things changed. maybe it's because i've grew older, or maybe because we finally got to the place where it's save and they feel more save letting me go places without worrying too much. But my parents and I are best friends. Yes, we fight and all, but still, they both are my best friends, and there can be nothing in the world that we can't have a conversation about.
My parents have shaped me from the moment i was born ( almost). I notice the things that my dad does and I don't like it, but at the same time i do it too, and my friends don't like it. Sometimes its something that others don't do, and it can just be weird for people. My dad, for example, has to have the car clean. When i used to drive his car and my friends would get in the car, he would always yell at me saying that it is dirty in my car, because my friends didn't clean their shoes before getting into the car, and then he'll tell me not to drive anyone =) He obviously gets the fact that i still will drive others just like others drive me, but he used to say it, just to say it. if theres a scratch on the car ( you know, you parked at Jewel, and car next to you scratched your car...that happens) well it is always my fault and i am not careful ( like i can't go inside the store b/c i have to watch my car) it is always my fault no matter what =)
BUT NOW, when i bought my car, i totally get him. My car is a new car, 2008 and it still has that "new car" smell. Now when my friends get in i tell them to be careful not to scratch anything and not to make a mess, just like my dad used to tell me ( not that he doesn't now).
So there, one example of how your family shapes you and influences you in the things you do.

School Shootings

This topic makes me go crazy and makes me think for a while.
When i read the article on the school shooting ( before going to sleep) i couldn't fall asleep for a good 2-3 hours, different thoughts were going through my mind. It's just so hard to grasp that kids like me die in those stupid shootings. Before i moved to USA i didn't even know that people are capable of coming to a school and shooting their classmates, although there was this one terrorist attack on the first day of school in Russia, where hundreds, HUNDREDS were killed. But that was the one and only time! But in this case, it's not one and only, it's not a common thing, but so close. I just can't express my feelings in a right way, i just can't believe that kids like me shoot others!

It all begins with bulling others. " You're a fag, you're gay, you're stupid" and so on. I really understand how much it feels, because once, in middle school i've been through that. And i was an immigrant it was already tough for me to adapt and others made it so much harder to adapt. But i did, it only made me stronger. But for others, this is not the case, for others coming to school and shooting their classmates is the answer! Violence has never been the right solution to a problem, ever. No matter how harsh it is, it V I O L E N C E!
I wish i could do something, i mean help others, because i know what it's like to be depressed, what it's like to be lonely. Been there, done that. But still, i keep on going no matter how hard it gets, and trust me it gets pretty hard. I just want to do something, be some kind of help to this rally sad, unfair world that we live in.

Community Service

Well, I will start off by saying that doing community service at a nursing home is not easy! It's not that you have to do a lot of things, there is absolutely nothing hard about it, but it is just extremely hard to see the old people, how they leave their everyday life. I got to sit down with the lady whose name was Ester ( i think). It was easy to see that she didn't like it there, i mean she said she did, but it seemed that she obviously liked it better with her family. It was so heartbreaking to realize that she has a big family but it is too hard for them to look after her. She said her one daughter visits her almost everyday, and the others once in a while because they live in another state.
I am a very nice and caring person and always there to help people out. The whole 2 hours that we've spent there my heart was beating like crazy, because i was thinking about how my dad always jokes by saying " Well, if you put us in a nursing home make sure it's not far away from you and it's a good one." I just don't see myself doing that, how cruel is that. My parents gave me my life and everything else, and how can i let somebody else take care of them rather then me. I just won't be able to to that. And i know that my parents know that i won't do that, so it kind of makes me feel better, that they know i won't put them into a nursing home and i would take care of them. I just can't imagine them going through the everyday life at a nursing home. I am not saying that they treat people badly but it's just something that i won't ever let happen.